Putting Yourself On Your To-Do List
What Am I Doing With My Life?
The idea of putting yourself on your to-do list can seem like a wild fantasy to some of you who are already overwhelmed with the enormity of tasks and obligations that demand your time and energy each day. You will let down yourself before you let down others because the consequences of doing so are easier to deal with … or so you think.
You have a list of tasks that you have to do but if it doesn’t cause the world to end, endangers or brings harm to someone else or breaks the law then it more than likely doesn’t have to be done. Yet every time you are putting someone else’s needs or demands before your own, you are enforcing the belief that these things are more important to you and you are not worth more than they are.
Not only are you doing this to yourself, but you are teaching your children that it’s ok too. They will not always be children, they will go out into the world one day and face the same challenges you do, so don’t teach them that they should put the needs of everyone else before themselves. Don’t let them be controlled by the sort of people who seek out those with low self-worth and exploit it for their own ends. Don’t teach them that it’s ok to sacrifice yourself and your happiness for others, to be exhausted all the time, to never get to do the things you really want to do. You must lead by example. If tomorrow was your last day on Earth would you spend it cleaning the house or spend time doing things that bring you the most joy. How do you know tomorrow is not your last day on Earth?
What Do I Want To Do With My Life?
Life is short and you will regret wasting it on stuff that doesn’t really matter rather than filling it with stuff that does matter. I understand this can be a massive shift in the mindset of people who have always put others before themselves and don’t want to appear selfish. But you are doing everyone you care about a massive disservice by not allowing them to witness and enjoy the version of you who is happy, fulfilled and able to share their gifts with the world. Do not cheat your family from experiencing the best you because you have to do the laundry first. That’s crazy and it’s not fair to you or to those who love you.
Putting yourself on your to-do list does not make you a bad person. You are allowed to be selfish when it comes to deciding how you want to live your life. Why? Because it’s your life! No-one else’s. You can’t live someone else’s life for them and they can’t live your life for you. It is essential that you understand that it’s your right to say ‘this is what I want for my life’ and that no-one has the right to tell you ‘no’ or grant you permission or make you feel that you owe them something if they ‘allow’ you to pursue your dreams or the things that make you happy. It is your life.
So what do you want? Who are you? What matters the most to you? What is your mission and your purpose in life? What makes you happy?
How To Live A Happy Life
Answering these questions is not easy. Many take a lifetime trying to find themselves and discover who they really are. Finding your authentic self maybe your mission or it maybe the thing that is top of your ‘to-do list’. If you have been lost in the chaos of life and this is the first time you have actually stopped and taken a moment to think ‘what do I really want’, you may be drawing a blank and that terrifies you! It’s ok. That’s normal. To use the J word, discovering who you are and what you want from life is a journey. But there is no destination, just a deeper understanding of who you are. If you want to skip to the end of the story and know what the meaning of life is, it’s simply just ‘to be’. That’s it. Not to be this or be that, just ‘to be’.
You are on your mission so don’t concern yourself with the mission of others and their judgments on what you should or shouldn’t be doing with your life. Learn to let go of all of that. You run your own race and recognize that their negative chatter and demands on your time and energy are just tests to see how dedicated you are to living your life, on your terms, they way you choose to do it and in a way that brings you happiness and fulfillment. Focus on what is important to you and live your life in a deliberate way that is in-line with your needs, your values and your mission. You have to be strong against the tide of pressure that others will apply to test your resolve because they want you to behave in a way that serves their needs and will not like it if you are putting your needs first. You have to re-educate people in the way they deal with you and inform them of what is acceptable and what is not. Then protect your borders.
If you want your life to remain as it is then do nothing. But if you want more then you first have to start with yourself. Everyone who has been successful in life has gone through this process and through the journey of self discovery has learned to put themselves at the top of their to-do list, to live the life they want to, on their own terms, without the need for someone else’s permission and without caring what others thought of them. They lived their lives and let everyone else worry about living theirs. They were in control of themselves, their thoughts, their actions, their decisions and as a result got what they wanted.
This is available to you too. You just have to make that decision to change your mindset and put yourself at the top of your to-do list. That is your right.